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Five Money Conversations Every Family Needs to Have

I received a call one morning from a college friend who asked if we could have lunch that day.  I could tell from his voice that something was troubling him.

We met for lunch and after ordering our food, I asked what was going on that he needed to meet so suddenly.  His answer is a common problem that nearly everyone experiences.

“I am having dinner with my parents tonight and I want to talk to my parents about their money, but I don’t know how to ask them.”

Thankfully there is a great way to open that conversation today thanks to the Queen of Motown Aretha Franklin dying without a will.

Approach your parents with “When I heard about Aretha Franklin, I wondered whether you had a will and that led to other questions running through my head.”

Five Money Conversations Every Family Needs to Have

Have you done any Estate Planning?  Estate planning is more than just having a will.  A will is important, yet you only are going to need the will when you die.  The other estate planning documents that are just as important are a Power of Attorney, a Medical Power of Attorney, A HIPPA release and a Directive to Physicians.   Having these documents makes life easier for everyone.

Where’s Waldo? This is a fun book for children and adults to try and find Waldo, however, searching for your parents’ important documents is not something you want to do.  You should ask your parents now whether they have a safety deposit box, where they have filed their will, and any other pertinent documents.  You aren’t asking your parents to divulge their net worth, but you should be understanding where these documents are especially if you are playing the executor role.

Do you have a social will?   Consider the size and details on your online digital presence from social media accounts to banking and credit card accounts  The U.S. government wrote a blog post about this very topic and suggested that people create social media wills that spell out how their online identities are to be handled after death.

Do you have long-term care insurance?  The cost of an assisted living facility is more than $4,500 per month on average and the cost of a private room in a nursing home is more than $7,000 per month. If your parents don’t have long-term care insurance, will they have enough resources to pay for the long-term care of their assets?  This is an important question for you to know because you might want to buy your parents a long-term care policy to potentially preserve your inheritance.  Or, what could be worse is if your parents are expecting that they will move in with you and you are not expecting this at all.

Who are your key advisors?  It is important to know who your parents’ key advisors are.  Ask them who their CPA, Financial Advisor, and Attorney are.  These professionals can provide great assistance when dealing with a death or illness and not having one of these professionals might point to a potential planning area that needs to be addressed.

Still wondering about how to have the “Money Conversation” with your parents please go to our online calendar to set up an appointment.

Michael Tannery CPA, CDFA® AIF®

Registered Principal

Tannery & Company

Tax – Accounting – Wealth Management

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    Wasted Time

    What is wasted time?
    Unscheduled, unplanned time doing the simple things of life
    As kids out summers were spent riding our bikes, playing in the creek or playing any game we could make up. All of this was outside and required very little parental supervision.
    Ain’t it funny how the best days of my life was all that wasted time
    – lyric from Keith Urban’s song – Wasted Time
    Today, I observe adults and children over scheduled with activities and over connected with every electronic device possible. Wasted time is where creativity is created.
    We are the “Attachment Generation”.
    Based on my observation about us becoming the “Attachement Generation”, I began to pose this question to friends and clients in my conversations.
    “What is your daily routine and how connected are you”.
    The #1 answer was – immediately when I get up or I take my phone to bed with me.
    I would get the answers and ask my favorite question – why?
    Why do you have to keep your phone with you, even taking it to bed?
    Why do you immediately look at it when you wake up, no matter the time of the night?
    They answered with various reasons that attempted to make the attachment to their phone seem normal.
    This simple idea of not having your smart phone with you 365/24/7 caused people stress.
    “When people are so plugged into their devices around the clock, they often lose the ability to be fully present to themselves and to other people,” says Jeffrey Rossman, Ph.D., director of Life Management ar Canyon Ranch in Lenox, Massachusetts. “It negatively impacts our peace of mind and relationships with others.”
    When is the last time you had “Wasted Time?”
    If “I can’t remember” is your answer then you have become part of the Attachment Generation. It is time for a digital detox and some “Wasted Time”.
    Take my seven steps toward finding your Wasted Time.
    1. Let go of the phone – start with taking it out of the bed. Your phone needs to sleep in the other room, not in the bed or on the bedside table. I made this change and the results are positive. (the phone was on the bedside table)

    2. Don’t touch your phone for the first 30 minutes of your day. Let your mind and your body refresh from the night’s sleep.

    3. Eliminate all of the “push” notifications on your phone and your desktop. This also includes your watch. I see many people distracted and looking at their smart watch for the text notifications during a meeting. It is unprofessional and inconsiderate.

    4. Drive your car without looking at your phone at stop lights. (No texting should not even be mentioned)

    5. Stop using your phone to occupy all of your free time. If you are standing in line at the grocery store, it is Ok to let your mind be unoccupied.

    6. Meals are Digital Free.

    7. Plan some wasted time each day without a screen in front of you. That includes a TV. Go workout, take a walk or have a conversation with your spouse, your children or take a bottle of wine and go visit a neighbor. I prefer reds however a chilled white will work this summer.
    Be honest
    You probably use your smartphone way more than you should, but you’re far from alone. It’s addictive checking social media, playing games and of course just staring down at it when you’re in a socially awkward situation.
    Try either taking the Apps off your phone or try one of these six apps to break your addiction.
    Tell me about your results of finding your Wasted Time.