According to Wikipedia, “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours”, is a game in which young children compare…. Well you know what I am talking about. “It is driven by curiosity and the thrill of breaking the taboo.”
Just the title of the article either made you giggle or be slightly outraged. That really doesn’t matter to me, yet I do want you to show me yours!
YOUR CREDIT REPORT.
Why do I want you to show me yours? In a society where credit decisions impact our ability to buy nearly everything, I don’t want to acquire your bad credit, past due loans, or unpaid taxes. I have spent years working on mine, and since we are about to join together I want to know all about yours.
RELATIONSHIPS & MONEY
Arguing about money is the top predictor of divorce, according to Sonya Britt, a Kansas State University researcher.
Her research, found that couples who argued about money early in their relationships — regardless of their income, debt or net worth — were at a greater risk for divorce.
“Arguments about money [are] by far the top predictor of divorce,” she said. “It’s not children, sex, in-laws or anything else. It’s money — for both men and women.”
Adding to this research is a forthcoming report by Federal Reserve Economists on the role of credit scores in divorce.
According to John Ulzheimer, credit expert at CreditSesame.com, “A credit score has value in determining whether or not you should get into a long-term relationship with someone. If your credit score is significantly different, higher or lower, than your soon-to-be spouse, then you two have very different credit experiences and likely have different credit management attitudes, which does not bode well for a harmonious relationship.”
Furthermore, Ulzheimer said, “poor credit can not only can doom a marriage, but it can also bleed on for many years after a divorce if you had chosen to apply jointly with a now ex-spouse for credit cards or loans.”
SHOW ME YOURS
As unromantic as it may seem, before anyone plans to marry and spend the rest of their lives with someone, couples must discuss money matters. In fact, even before the engagement, there should be mandatory pre-financial counseling with a professional specifically trained in this area.
My advice is to do it in the beginning before the ring is bought. I strongly believe money is one of the top reasons for divorce. Arguments within the marriage can be avoided if the couple is completely honest about his/her money habits and reveals it to the other person.
This is especially true for couples entering into a second marriage where lingering issues with a former spouse may cloud the financial picture.
A 10 STEP PLAN FOR SHOWING ME YOURS
If you haven’t already, here are ten steps you should do as a couple financially:
1. Take a look at each other’s credit reports and credit scores.
2. Know each other’s current annual salaries and your hopes for future income.
3. Determine who is a spender and who is a saver.
4. Talk about how you plan to pay any outstanding debts.
5. Specifically discuss how old debts will be handled. Does one spouse expect the other to pay, to help pay, or is there a bankruptcy lurking in your future?
6. Now is the time to come clean about any past bankruptcies or other major events in your financial past.
7. Discuss spending and budgeting. If one of you doesn’t know what a budget is, I suggest you get one.
8. Disclose if you have co-signed a loan for anyone.
9. Develop financial goals for the next five years.
10. Decide what your long-term financial goals are and how you will fund them.
As uncomfortable as the subject may be, talk this out before you get married. You may have differences, but is the gap too wide to overcome?
I would enjoy hearing back from you about your experiences in joining together and the discussions you had about money.
If you know of someone who might enjoy or benefit from our weekly WE:Connect, then please forward this to them or email me and I will make sure they receive the weekly email.
It’s another Football Friday in Texas, and Great State Fair of Texas opens today with the return of Big Tex.
Michael Tannery
Does this sound familiar?
Hi, my name is Michael and I am a Technology Addict
Group Reply – Hi Michael
Technology is the best thing since sliced bread and absolutely the worst thing to ever happen. I am a closet techie and I have chosen to disconnect and go back a decade or so to a simpler time.
Years ago – Friends would come to my house and ask, “Why don’t you have a TV in your bedroom?”
My answer was simple – the bedroom is for two things – sleeping and sex. A TV interrupts both.
Today, technology INVADES our bedrooms and lives.
How many phones, tablets and TV’s do you have in your bedroom when you go to bed? The answer should be none, nada, zip. You don’t need them in your bedroom and all they do is interrupt your sleep and MAKE YOU FAT.
That’s right your use of technology is making you fat. The blue light emitted by all of these devices has been show to interrupt sleep habits and interrupt your metabolism.
If you want to know more about this, then click here and read Chris Kesser’s article How artificial light is wrecking your sleep, and what to do about it.
I need my phone with me at home
I recognize the excuse you are going to give me about this even before you use them.
1. I don’t have a home phone – put your phone in the bathroom, turn the volume up and set the DO NOT DISTRUB setting on your iPhone and iPad. It is simple and immediately improves your sleep and eliminates those annoying text and calls that are not important in the middle of the night.
2. I use it for an alarm clock – this is even better – If your Alarm clock phone is in the bathroom, you will have to get out of bed to turn it off – Viola – no more sleeping in and a higher probability that you are not going to immediately begin your day with browsing insignificant information.
I Now Return Myself to a Normal Life
Here’s a few simple ways you can temporarily liberate yourself from your phone, as well, and rediscover your own fascinating human experience:
1) Leave it in the car.
Pump gas. Buy bread. Pick up your dry cleaning. Eat with your friend. You don’t need to fill every in-between moment with Facebook or email or Words with Friends. Instead, look around at the 3-D world of colors you’re immersed in. Listen to the wild array of sounds happening right now. Just enjoy being in your human body for a few moments.
2) Don’t bring it to bed.
Take your last look and turn it off before you enter your bedroom to sleep. You’ll get better rest in the morning and better remember your dreams, too, since you can’t just roll over and start dousing your brain with endless information. Think of it as beauty sleep.
3) Take it off your desktop.
Constant interruptions result in poor work habits and subpar work. Years ago, I turned the DING off in Outlook. This week, I put my IPhone in my briefcase and only check it when I am finished with a project and taking a break. If you really need me – call my office.
4) Take a walk without it.
A recent study shows that simply walking for 8 minutes can significantly boost creativity. Since March, I have been enjoying daily walks using my FITBIT. The highlight of my walk — NO PHONE. I cannot tell you have many Owls and birds I have heard while walking early in the morning or how many new neighbors I have met. Try it and set yourself free.
5) Put it in time-out.
Designate an hour a day or one evening a week to turn off your phone and put it in a drawer. Actually turning it off is important, at least for me. Sometimes I feel as though I’ve become psychologically connected to my smart phone like it’s my twin. Even when I can’t see it, knowing it’s still gathering intelligence can make me itchy to see what exciting new things it has come up with. When it’s switched off, I find it deeply calming that it’s now only a piece of shiny metal accumulating zero information.
There are surely countless ways to take a smart-phone break.
Judging by the commercial, even God needs a break from his smart phone.
I am claiming my life back from the technology addiction – will you join me? Plus with all the walking I am certainly getting better looking and healthier.
I would love to hear your stories of how technology has interrupted your life.
